How do you describe your love for God???

How would you describe your love for God??? That was the question asked by CAB during our carecell this afternoon. I answered her that I don't know. Honestly I really don't know how would I describe it and until now I'm still wondering the word to describe my love for God. So while pondering, I examine myself, my motive. I asked questions, like why do I go to church every sunday? why am I joining carecell? and why do I suddenly attend prayer meeting? Since I graduated from high school (I graduated from a christian school where every week we had a chapel service) I was worried that I won't be able to go to a church because my parents have different religion. So when the time my mother become a born again christian I was glad. I can go with her in a small church. In 2008 of October 20 while waiting for the result of the exam that I had taken, In my anxiety I told God that if He would just let me pass the exam I would go to church every sunday. Well I wasn't able to fulfilled my promise to go every sunday because there are times that I have to work during sunday particularly in the months of March to April. Though I wasn't able to  fulfilled my promise God is still faithful. I joined carecell because I made a promised again to God at around the 1st quarter of 2009 that if He would just let me get out of my current situation I would joined carecell. He did help me get out of my situation and right now I'm still attending carecell but it's not every week Then the 3rd question that I asked my self why do I suddenly attend prayer meeting? Well I attend prayer meeting because of the difficulty I am having right now with my current job. I remember what DS said during sunday service when she was inviting us to joined the prayer meeting. She had said something like there are things that we like to happened but we don't have the control over the situation so all we can do is pray because prayer is powerful. See I have some problems, so I attended prayer meeting. I read my bible regularly. Back when I was in high school I read my bible because I want to know more about God but now I don't know if knowing more about God is still my reason. There are times when because of tiredness I wasn't able to read my bible and because of that I got fear that something might get wrong. Am I just doing what I'm doing because of my love for God or am I doing it because I fear that if I didn't, things will not turn out well, am I just doing it  to make sure that thing will go okay for me. In my thinking I come to the point of asking myself if I truly love God. I know my fear is unreasonable because God is a loving father. Though we might desert Him, go away from Him, forget Him God will never ever leave us nor forsake us. He still love us no matter what. His love for us never change. I still don't know the word to describe my love for God and I'm still confused. But I know that in time God will make things clear for me and by then I would have the word to describe my love for my Abba Father in Heaven

- 陳錦錦