A Spare tire

I compare myself to a spare tire, spare tire in a compartment. An extra, a substitute, last option. As long as things are well, they won't be needing it. It is just neglected, tossed away, hidden as if it doesn't exist but when things go wrong they'll sought for it. Same with me, At the office I felt that way because I was always been the last option. If things were well, I'm just being ignored but when things got out of hand, that's the time that they'll include me. Honestly I felt bad. Well to be fair with them I was given a chance but I failed  so what right do I have to feel bad? right??? But then as I was analyzing or you could say reflecting my situation, I thought about Jesus. How many times have we treated Him with contempt, how many times have we treated Him like a spare tire??? Most of the time, right? Most of the time we make decisions without even bringing or consulting Him first. When the decisions we made didn't work out, and things got out of hand, then that's the only time that we come to Him. When we have problems, we want to resolved it our way, leaving God out of the picture but when things got even worse, that's the time we sought for God's help, that's the time we include God. So how do you think God would feel if we treated Him that way? If during the times that I felt like a spare tire, I felt bad when I don't even have the right to feel that way. How much more God? And mind you God has all the right to feel bad. Why??? Because God is God, He has no flaws, He has no equal, and most of all He never disappoints us. If I blew my chance because I failed, God on the hand never fails. His promises stand true forever. We should never treated Jesus like a spare tire rather we should treat Him with utmost priority. He had all the right for our time, attentions, affections, and devotions. Why??? because He saves us. He had given us the most precious gift that no one can even equal. He had given us His one and only son, Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ died for us, He gave His life for us, us who are unworthy and undeserved.  Through Him we are reconciled to God. He clothes us with His righteousness so we can be made right with God. Our Lord doesn't deserved to be treated like a spare tire, He deserves more, He deserve our full devotion.

- 陳錦錦

Why problems never get exhausted

I can't exactly remember what I was thinking when I was walking back to office after eating my lunch at home, when the verse that I've read last night from the book of Judges suddenly came into my mind. The verses answered my issues, my questions before on why do problems never end. So why do problems never get exhausted?

These are the nations that the Lord left in the land to test those Israelites who had not experienced the wars of Canaan. He did this to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle.

Judges 3:1-2 (NLT)

The nations that was left in the land are thorns to the Israelites, In the modern times those nations are the problems, trials and difficulties that continue to strike us. It says that God left those nations to teach warfare to generations of Israelites who have no experience in war. In the same way God wants to teach us how to endure and persevere in the midst of trials. Let say we want to acquire patience and self control, so how would we able to develop it, how will God teaches us? God will send us situations wherein we will be able to practice patience and self control.

These people were left to test the Israelites—to see whether they would obey the commands the Lord had given to their ancestors through Moses.

Judges 3:4 (NLT)

Trials, problems, difficulties are not totally eliminated when we become Christians, the same way the Canaanites living in the land were not eliminated. Through those trials, our faith is being tested. When adversity come will we keep on obeying God or do we turn our back from Him, will we give up and waste our life or will we persevere until we finished the race?

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 3:2-4 (NIV)

Will we able to say what the Apostle Paul said,

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness,which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NIV)

- 陳錦錦

The Hidden Desire

Do you ever feel scared when you try to explain things??? Lately I've been experiencing that scary feeling. Whenever I tried to explain my work to my boss, like my findings, like why did I do that? why did I get that? I get afraid. Scared that they don't get what I'm trying to point out. Lately, I was wondering if I have a communication problem. Before from my previous job (same industry as my present job) I didn't encounter such feeling. From my previous job whenever I explain my findings and problems to my office mate (I consider her my superior since she had been with the firm more than 10 years and besides she's the one who guided and taught me, we don't have ranking position since it's not a big firm) about this and that she understood. Well I guess that she did understand or on a second thought she might as well get confused with the way I explain things, and because she had a high I.Q and because she's being too analytic she might have figure out the problem herself and give me the right response. I don't know if in this case she did understand or she just had a high level I.Q. but I hope for the first one. Recently we had a new hire employee, since I'm the nearest to her she asked me from time to time questions about work, and I tried my very best to explain to her about it. I just don't know if she get it or not. Once I had even come to the point of asking my siblings if they understood me back then when I was tutoring and helping them with school work. Being understood by people when I tried to explain things is a big deal for me, it matters to me. Why? because beneath my heart is a hidden desire to become a good teacher. I want to teach, and I want that my students will be able to understand the lessons that I am teaching. I just don't know if this hidden desire will boldly come out someday. Entering in a teaching profession as of now is a big NO, NO for me because of my weak and shy personality. How can I become a teacher when I can't even had the courage to speak in front of a small group, what's more standing in front of a whole class. Before when I was a student, I hate recitations and reporting because I don't like standing in front of a lot of people, it makes me nervous. So what makes me think that I can enter the teaching profession and become a teacher. So I guess this hidden desire would probably stay hidden for a long time, but I hope not for forever.

- 陳錦錦

Stop anxiety! keep your focus on GOD

When we worry, or get nervous our mind clutter, the mind doesn't work the way it should. When we focus on problems rather than on God, Our mind is in chaos, when our mind is in chaos we can't think quite clearly... I had a firsthand experience of that kind of situation. It was at the end of August, the deadline of the 2nd quarter ITR. I'm almost finished with all my ITR except for this one client who is always late, and this time it's not just late, lacking documents! So how am I supposed to complete it's ITR. The last resort was to estimate the figures since it's already the deadline. It's still allowable to estimate because it's just only the 2nd quarter. So you think that my problem was already resolved by just merely estimating the figures? At first I think it was not. Based on the estimated figures that I made this client had to pay tax due due to MCIT. That was my problem, asking for a check from client on a short notice is difficult to collect, and what's more? As I was referring to the first quarter ITR, I realized that I made a mistake in computing the tax due for the first quarter, I didn't applied the MCIT! I was so nervous, my mind was such a mess that I can't think properly. Instead of getting anxiety to party over me, I stop for a while, and do other things and I sang "Trading my sorrow". Just then suddenly I remember that this certain client is still exempted from MCIT, which means this client had still enough tax credit, and I did the first quarter ITR correctly. Ohhh what a relief! I was so thankful for my Abba Father for reminding me that. See, it is difficult to think when your mind is at an anxious state, a calm mind, and a mind focus on God can think properly in the midst of difficult circumstances.

- 陳錦錦

A Leap of Faith

As a Christian our priority is God over work, family, friend. But in reality there are only few Christians who prioritize relationships with God over anything. I know a Christian from our church who are one of the few who prioritize God over her work. She works in a bank and this year she decided to enrolled in a Bible school. The problem arises when she arrived at her classes late for three times. The teacher warned her that he/she might dropped her off her class if it continues. The Christian lady asked permission from her manager if she can leave early from work so she can arrived at school on time. According to what I've heard the manager didn't allowed her to leave early. In this circumstances she needs to choose, whether to give up Bible school or her work. Honestly if I were to choose, I would have given up the Bible school. How could I give up my work especially during this time that it is difficult to find a job? And besides there could still be another opportunity to enrolled in a Bible school (Shame on me for my choice right?). But the Christian lady choose differently, she was thinking of resigning from her job for more or less ten years... WOW that's faith.... I was amazed by her great faith. She chose God over her work, She chose to courageously stood up for Christ even if it means resigning from her job. She trust that God would provide for her and her family.

Update:
As of now she's still in the Bible school, and she's still with the bank, I don't know what had happened but I believe that God work in her circumstances. "Seek ye first thy kingdom of God and all these things will be given unto you"

- 陳錦錦

Knowing VS Doing

There is a difference between "KNOWING" and "DOING". Knowing what is right from what is wrong is just merely a head knowledge. Knowing what is right from what is wrong doesn't change anything. But doing the right thing even though people around you is not into it would make a big difference. Knowledge won't bring you anywhere but actions would do. 

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listen to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself forget what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continue to DO this, not forgetting what he has heard, but DOING it - he will be blessed by what He does

- James 1:22-25

- 陳錦錦

I would choose to listen to the voice of Truth

People have a lot of opinions regarding others. Some are good while some are not, some may affect us, some may not. We can't control the way people think about us but we have the power to control the way we respond to them. Do we get negative feelings when we don't like the way people think about us or do we just let it go?  Yesterday an office mate expresses her opinion about me and my course. she said that the course that I took up doesn't suit my personality. Honestly I was really saddened upon hearing it. Is it true that my course doesn't suit me? Before, after resigning from my first job, I was wondering and asking myself if I made the right choice of course (I was having a career crisis back then). I was trying not to get affected and not to self pity myself again. I talk to God and told Him all about it, while airing my feelings to God, a realization came upon me (and I believe that this realization is what God wants me to realize). Why would I be affected by an opinion made by human? People could have thousands of opinion about me but none of them are facts they are just merely their viewpoint. Why would I believe or be affected with what she said about me and the course that I took up in college, when she is just only human, making only human judgement. In the first place if the course that I took up doesn't really suit me, it is my creator who would have known it first. Since He is the one who created me, He would basically know what suit and what doesn't suit me. If the course that I took up is not for me, God would have given me signs to quit it, but on the contrary He give me signs to continue on my course. Signs like God had help me through college getting good grades especially in my majors, had help me in my review and the board exams. I would choose to listen to the voice of truth.

- 陳錦錦

The Dream

I had this dream, There was a stage show and at the end of the show a guy sang a song. At first I can't understand the lyrics quite clearly. As the performers and the host joined the singer in singing the song, they come near the audience. That was then at that time that I was able to hear the lyrics clearly. When I heard it, I keep on repeating it to myself, there was a little alteration with the words as I keep on reciting it but the message was still the same. When I woke up I immediately wrote it in a paper. "Hold on, Hold on, He is bigger, He is bigger, God is bigger than any of these problems." That was the lyrics of the song, I know without a second thought that it was God who revealed that message to me through a dream. But what puzzled me is I don't have any serious problem right now... It would have been so moving if I was having a problem during the time I had that dream but I don't have, so I guess it concerns the future, that's when fear enter. At first I was amazed but my amazement was overwhelmed by fear. Fear that problem will come and perhaps it is God telling me in advance that He is bigger than any problems... I hate problems and sufferings, I know I'm being narrow minded and paranoid and my fear is unreasonable... Problems and suffering are parts of life. It is through suffering and problems that God help us to become a person He wants us to be. 

These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

- 1Peter 1:7 (NLT)

Instead of getting worried about it, I'll choose to be thankful for that dream. He know how weak I'am in handling problems so it might be that through that dream God is giving me a Fatherly reminder that He is bigger than any problems, trials sufferings that might come my way. 

- 陳錦錦 

Blessing versus Problems

Blessings versus problems. I had this thinking that when God blesses, He would give problems in return. But someone said to me that God doesn't work that way. I know she's right. God blesses because He is a generous Father "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" - Matthew 7:11. It's not in the nature of God to make His children suffer without any reasons. Suffering is one way that God deal with us, to brought us to or back to Him, and it is also one of His way in pruning us. If we haven't been touch by any difficulties do you think that we will remember to call on to God? or to need Him desperately? Our Faith won't grow if it's not for the suffering we undergo. If it weren't for all the suffering He went through, How else could David had wrote all those inspiring psalms? and if it weren't for the difficulties, do you think that David would have develop such a great faith and a relationship with  God? Sufferings draw us closer to God

- 陳錦錦

When inferiority strikes...

Visit payless store at Lucky chinatown mall. This was my first time to visit it. Everytime that I went to chinatown I would want to go inside but I was so shy to enter the store and finally this afternoon before I went home I muster the courage to went to that that shoe store. Inside I saw a lot of shoes, well of course what do you expect from a shoe store? As I was scanning, there are shoes that I would like to try on but then have a second thought. Why? same as the reason why it took me days before I got the courage to visit that store. Shyness is the reason and it also has to do with inferiority issues. I don't know but I don't feel that someone like me had the right to go or even to try their shoes. Don't get me wrong, it's not because of the people inside, actually the sales lady are all nice. The problem was with me, I don't feel that someone like me is fit to enter that kind of place. In short I'm insecure, Well I think it has something to do with the past when some people around me makes me feel that I'm nothing. But then on the second thought why would I feel insecure??? And I learned something from the book that I was reading from Tom Holladay, "If you felt truly secure in God's love for you, you wouldn't have nothing to envy, you wouldn't need to boast, and you wouldn't have to build your ego by feeding it heaping helpings of pride." Besides why would I feel insecure if God loves me?

- 陳錦錦

"My thoughts are not your thoughts" says the Lord

I was wondering why God allows difficulties to strikes His children. Sometimes there is fear inside of me, fear that if God blesses me, a difficult problem is on the way. It seems like God blesses me in exchange for some difficulties and trials in life. And mind you the problems are getting harder and harder. It enters my mind why would God help me get through the difficulties when after helping me He would send yet other difficult trials. I come to the point where I question God on why do these things happened to me. I don’t know why do God allows that to happened, all I know is I’m freaking tired of it. But I know that God had His own reasons for everything, as God says in his word through Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” The only thing that God asked of me is to trust Him. Yes it’s true that difficulties, problems and trials will continue to bombard our lives as long as we live but the good news is God is bigger than any of those and I know as I face all those challenges God is at my side He won’t let me go through it alone.

- 陳錦錦

Ironic....

Isn't it ironic, when I was in high school I don’t like actually I NEVER like formal and informal theme (essay writing). It's my least favorite subject in fact I hate it. Why? It’s because I don‘t have so much ideas what to write. I’m not good in English, my grammar is poor but who would have thought that I would be a blogger, a writer (uhmm... not professionally though, just a writer in a way). Since I become a blogger, I come to love writing though the grammar is still not good but at least I was able to write a piece. Actually blogging help me in a way to improve my English and most especially it helps me to express my thoughts and feelings into something that I could reminisce someday.

- 陳錦錦

Don't settle for less

In my bed as I was going to sleep I have been recalling the face of my favorite grade school teacher. As I remember, she's pretty, she had a beautiful face, good posture. As I was recalling the face of my teacher a trace of disappointment befell upon me. I had heard that she was separated from her husband. In my mind, I was wondering why could her husband let that happened. Well I don't know the story behind it, or who's fault it is, but my point is, the husband, since he is the guy should never had given up on that marriage. Most of the time and I'm not saying all the time that I felt that it is usually the guy who is to be blame for a wreck marriage. I didn't say that because I'm biased since I'm a girl nor did I say that without a basis. Of course I do had a basis for that... I hear around me how guys both single and married talk about girls. They don't respect girls they talk about girls as if they were just an object to be played at. Married man stills looks to other lady lustfully even a guy who said that he's a Christian was not in anyway different from them -- (HELLO you're professing to be a Christian and yet your actions, the way you talk is very much different from what you are claiming to be). I was just wondering what's running in a guy's mind... When they come to like a lady, they will court the lady and do anything to get their love but in the end they would just broke it. Do guys even feel guilty when they make a girl cry? when they break a lady's heart? Those guys aren't even a real man to speak of. A real man won't do anything to hurt or break a girl's heart. A real man knows how to respect a lady. A real man knows how to wait. A real man knows how to protect, cherish and love a lady. A real man love Jesus Christ first more than anyone. Sad to say but there is only few real man left. Ladies don't settle for less, never give your heart to some jerky guy, give your heart only to real man, A man who deserved it.

- 陳錦錦

A Letter...

Dear Jesus,

Not my will but your will be done. I may felt that I'm always being left out and always been the last option but I know that you have a much better plan, better will and better purpose in my life. You know me better than I know myself since it's you who had created me and who had knit me in my mother's womb. Lord God Jesus I trust in you. In times when the enemy is attacking my mind using his weapon of discontentment, May You help me Lord God Jesus to combat it by helping me to always find joy at the center of your will and to appreciate wholeheartedly those blessing, those "much more" you have for me.

- 陳錦錦

God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow

The first week of this year had just past. First week in work for this year not so good. Pressures is already there... This month is the start of the busy season for an accountant/auditor. The preparation of the FS, filing of the ITR on April 15 starts now.... Actually this is my third tax season but my first in this firm. Worries, pressures are all around... Worrying causes me unnecessary stress and I read somewhere, I just can't remember if it's in a book or in a blog that when we worry, we are actually insulting God. Yes I agree with the author. When we worry we are unconsciously doubting God's capabilities in fulfilling His promises. And I realized that I had been insulting God for so many time because of my worry freak attitude. God had proven Himself many times already and yet here I am still getting worried. I'm so bad. The God who had help me with my first two tax season in my former job is the same God who would help me to get through with this another tax season from my new job. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. The God who had help the Israelites long time ago is the same God who would help me. God had help me in the past, He's been continuing to lend His hand to help me in my current situation and I know that He will continue to do so in the future.

- 陳錦錦